Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Bush & Putin
During their meeting, President Bush and Vladimir Putin took a joy ride in Putin's 1956 Volga roadster. This was seen as a symbolic gesture, since driving just for fun is a now an unaffordable luxury for the citizens of both their countries.

Bush in Georgia
President Bush is lauding the former Soviet Republic of Georgia saying that: "Georgia is "building a democratic society where the rights of minorities are respected; where a free press flourishes, and where a vigorous opposition is welcomed." Experts are wondering why the President is praising all the things he's fought so hard to stop here in the United States.

Top 5 Reasons the FBI Believes the U.S. is Safer from Terrorism

5) "Dangerous" practice of gay marriage now being banned in 17 states

4) Hijacking a major U.S. airline now requires pre-approval from federal bankruptcy court

3) FOX News anchors now spend more time bashing runaway brides & Michael Jackson than al Qaeda

2) Suicide car bombers thwarted by road blocks, surveillance, $3-a-gallon gas

1) All potential terrorists currently in the U.S. illegally are too busy getting free healthcare, working at Wal-Mart

Harry in the Army
Britain's Prince Harry enrolled this week at England's prestigious Sandhurst military academy. The nation's citizens hope he will learn discipline, leadership, and that the Nazis were the bad guys in World War II.

Strange Ticket
A Romanian traffic cop was demoted after he fined a driver for "having a face like a moron and being a big monkey." But it's still unclear why Donald Trump was driving in Romania.

Pam & the Monkey
Producers of the new sitcom "Stacked," had to cancel a scene that featured Pamela Anderson acting opposite a monkey. Apparently, the monkey refused to continue after Anderson kept missing all her cues.

Wendy's Frosty Giveaway
Wendy's restaurants are giving away free Frostys frozen desserts this weekend. Fast food experts say the ice-cold treat is a much more suitable place to preserve severed body parts than a bowl of chili.

Cat Settlement
A Seattle woman who sued a neighbor after his dog mauled her cat to death, has been awarded more than $45,000. $10,000 of that is coming from the dog's owner, and the remaining $35,000 is being paid by the local Taco Bell.

NYU Scammer Busted
A 21-year old NYU student is accused of masterminding a phony check scam worth $43 million dollars. The suspect claims he learned everything he knows from the people in NYU's tuition office.


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