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Top 5 Things Overheard During the Royal Wedding Night

5) "Oooh Camilla, you know I love it when you dress up in Harry's Nazi uniform!"

4) "It's just not as fun now that we're a respectable couple"

3) "It wasn't until now that I realized why my subjects are so desperate for cheaper Viagra"

2) "Just close your eyes Camilla and imagine I'm William"

1) "Thanks Mummy, but I think I'll try to satisfy Camilla on my own this time"

Cardinals Mum
Roman Catholic cardinals preparing to elect a new Pope have unanimously decided not to speak to the media. Usually, the only way to get Church leaders to shut up so quickly is to accuse one of them of molestation.