RADIO ALERT!! You can catch me LIVE on the internet radio station WBCQ every Sunday night at 9pm! The name of the show is "The Johnny Lightning Show" Here is the link to find out how to download the show: WBCQ Radio

ALSO! I have a new satirical story published on The Fake News! Here is the link: The Fake News

Top 5 REAL Reasons Viktor Yushchenko's Face Became Disfigured
5) Saw "Christmas with the Kranks"

4) Mixed John Kerry's Botox with Barry Bonds' steroids

3) Went on a few dates with Liza Minnelli

2) Spent weekend after Thanksgiving at the mall, then went to Post Office

1) Needs a big facial gimmick, like Gorbachev's birthmark