Top 10 Ways Antiochus IV Profaned the 2nd Temple

10) Caught handing out annoying "Jews for Alexander" literature at the door

9) Loudly snored through High Priest's sermons

8) Donated bagels for the Shabbat Kiddush... but they were Lender's Bagels

7) Repeatedly stood up and folded Tallis during president's announcements

6) Insisted on putting memorial plaques over urinals he donated to the men's bathroom

5) Invited strippers to the Men's Club meetings

4) Enjoyed hitting Bar Mitzvah boys in the crotch during candy throw

3) Kept wandering into the women's mikveh "by accident"

2) Smelled a lot like French fries every Yom Kippur

1) Had "inappropriate relationship" with his young Jewish intern