Kerik Withdraws
Bernard Kerik says he may have employed an illegal immigrant as a nanny, so he's withdrawing as President Bush's choice to be the new Secretary of Homeland Security. So now Bush's cabinet members are quitting before they even start on the job!

Bush Physical
President Bush finally had his annual physical after 4 months of delays. Doctors say they kept having to postpone the tests because you can't do a proper rectal exam on someone who's always talking out of his ass.