NEWSDAY ALERT!!! I'm back in the "Punchlines" column of Newsday today. Here's the link: Newsday

Lottery Winner
The British government is looking into changing its laws after a convicted rapist won a $12 million national lottery jackpot. In America we already bar known criminals from winning the lottery, but we still haven't been able to stop them from getting campaign contributions.

Gay Marriage
The California Supreme Court is now reviewing San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom's decision to grant marriage licenses to gay couples earlier this year. The justices are expected to rule against Newsom for violating state law, ignoring the court's authority, and allowing Rosie O'Donnell to get back on TV.

More Saudi Oil
The Saudi royal family now says it will increase oil production. The increase will stay in effect until shortages are eased, prices fall, and the Bush Administration gives them a nicer suite in the White House.

Drug Poll
A new poll shows elderly Americans would prefer to get cheaper drugs from Canada and Europe. But the poll also shows that younger Americans and college students still prefer getting their drugs from Mexico and Colombia.