Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Prostate Health
A new study shows men who frequently ejaculate have a better chance to avoid prostate cancer. Sadly, this news comes five years too late for the Clinton legal defense team.

Brazil Nukes?
Brazil is refusing to allow UN nuclear inspectors to examine and photograph a uranium enriching facility near Rio de Janeiro... not because the country is trying to hide weapons, it's just that most Brazilians come to work naked.

Book Ban Eased
The federal government is ending a ban on publishing books from nations under U.S. trade embargoes like Iran and Cuba. That means Americans can soon look forward to reading award-winning foreign books like "Showering for Dummies," and "How to Make Your Own Toilet Paper."

Dingell Campaign
Representative John Dingell from Michigan is seeking to remain the longest-serving member of the House of Representatives and has filed papers to run for a 26th term. He vows to remain in office until everyone stops snickering when he says, "Hi, I'm Mister Dingell"

What If?...
The USA cable network is producing a TV movie which will examine what America would be like had the South won the Civil War. Actually, that show is already on every day on C-Span.

Rice Testimony
President Bush says he's happy Condoleezza Rice will testify before the 9/11 Commission because Rice “knows exactly what took place and will lay out the facts.” ... maybe later, she'll even explain it to him.

Dylan's Secret
Bob Dylan is now appearing in a new series of TV commercials for Victoria’s Secret. The decision actually comes from the company's product testing unit... If viewers are still turned on by the models even after seeing what Bob Dylan looks like these days, then the lingerie really is hot!

Arafat In Danger
Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon is revoking his pledge not to harm Yasser Arafat saying that the Palestinian leader could be a target for assassination. The move came just hours after Arafat cut in front on Sharon at the Saturday afternoon buffet line at the King David Hotel.

Women at Work
A new study has found that most victims of workplace bullying are women who are actually being abused by their female bosses. But those statistics are sure to change now that Martha Stewart no longer runs her company.

Lotto Delay
A Canadian man waited until last week to claim the $30 million lottery jackpot he won last year. The man has been spending the last year pissing off as many people as possible, just so he could really enjoy it when they find out he just won $30 million.


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