Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Jackson Case
Prosecutors in Santa Barbara are looking to move Grand Jury proceedings in the Michael Jackson case to other locations to avoid the many journalists swarming the courthouse. But it's not clear if the judge will accept Jackson's request to hold the hearings at the local elementary school.

Air Force Cadet
Documents show the Air Force Academy cadet accused of raping a female student was allowed to remain at the school for several more months, during which he was arrested for sodomizing two other women. Military officials say they didn't kick him out because they were so impressed with how hard the kid was working to prove he's not gay.

Circus in Town
Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus is back in New York City this month. That's great news for the janitors at the Madison Square Garden who need the practice clearing crap off the floor if they're going to be ready for the Republican National Convention this summer.

City Jobs
The latest reports show employment is up in New York City, which can only mean one thing - there must be a new "Law and Order" spin-off in the works!

Passion Confession
A Norwegian neo-Nazi has confessed to two bombings a decade ago after watching "The Passion of the Christ." Apparently the man was humbled after seeing a real master Jew-hater at work.

Holy Day
Pope John Paul says Sunday should be a day for God, not for secular diversions like sports. Most American priests are supporting the statement; mostly because they hate it when all the really good-looking altar boys go to soccer practice.


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