SPECIAL ALERT!!!! I didn't make Newsday today, but the Sports Illustrated Web Site IS running my joke from yesterday about one of the NCAA Tournament games (Princeton-Texas). It's un-credited, but take my word for it; I wrote it. Here's the link: SI.Com


Post-Parade
In a continuing tradition here in New York City, the day after we paint the town green for Saint Patrick's Day, city residents awake the next morning to see the streets are now a different color - yellow.

Mullah's Message
In a blistering sermon shown on Palestinian TV this week, a Mullah said the Jews are descended from apes and pigs and are deserving of death. Finally! An ultra-religious leader willing to except Darwinism! Now that's progress!

Mullah's Message II
As usual, most of the world is ignoring the sermon's Anti-Semitic message. But by saying the Jews should be killed like apes and pigs, the Mullah is now being threatened by the folks from PETA.

Scalia Refusal
Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia has refused to remove himself from a case involving Vice President Dick Cheney, even though the two of them went on a hunting trip together last year. In a statement, Scalia said going on the trip with Cheney doesn't mean he'll get favorable treatment, especially since "Dick kept hogging all the covers in bed."