Box Office Results
Dawn of the Dead was the new number one movie at the box office this weekend. But the numbers are misleading because half the people who went to the movie were fans of The Passion who came back to the theater three days later and thought it was the sequel.

Box Office Results II
Another strong box office finisher was Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, a movie about erasing painful memories. But the numbers are misleading because half the people who saw the movie thought it was about the Bush campaign.

Clarke's Criticism
President Bush's former counterterrorism coordinator Richard Clarke says the White House ignored warnings about al Qaeda before 9/11 and rushed to war in Iraq. But the Bush Administration is snapping into action immediately by revealing to the news media that Clarke's wife works for the CIA.

Al Zawahiri at Large
Despite reports that he was cornered by Pakistani troops, al Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri is still at large. But the Bush Administration is snapping into action immediately by revealing to the news media that al-Zawahiri's wife works for the CIA.

Made in Burma
Investigators have discovered that T-shirts sold on the Bush-Cheney re-election web site were made by child laborers in Burma and Mexico. But the Bush Administration is snapping into action immediately by revealing to the news media that all the t-shirt makers' parents work for the CIA.