Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Primary Day
It's a big day for the voting process in America as the nation finally learns some results after millions of dollars of spending, lots of phony promises, and months of cut-throat politics... but enough about the Oscar nominations.

Dixville-Notch Results
As usual, the tiny community of Dixville Notch voted first in the primary, giving 8 votes to Wesley Clark, 3 votes to John Kerry, and 1 vote to Joe Lieberman. Experts say the results were predictable; Clark won because he was the only candidate to visit the town, Kerry came in second because he is from New England, and Lieberman got 100% of the Jewish vote.

New Hampshire Turnout
Experts are predicting strong voter turnout in New Hampshire today despite cold weather. That's because everyone in the state knows that the sooner they vote, the sooner the politicians and reporters will leave them alone.

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