Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Bonds 660
As Barry Bonds crossed the plate after hitting his 660th home run Monday night, he made his usual gesture of pointing both fingers to the heavens. Experts say that's Bonds' signal to his trainer to increase his steroid dosage.

Enron Arrest
Former Enron Chairman Jeff Skilling was picked up by New York City cops this weekend after allegedly exhibiting drunken and erratic behavior at several upscale Manhattan bars and restaurants. Top reasons for his behavior:

-Embarrassed that Manhattan bartenders overcharge more for drinks than Enron did for power in California

-Angry that he arrived in New York too early to bribe delegates to the Republican National Convention

-Bought full-price "Producers" tickets, then found out Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane have left the show

-100 million bucks worth of stolen shareholder money and he STILL can't get a decent 3-bedroom on Park Avenue!

-Saw "Passion of the Christ" in Houston... came up to New York to "get some payback"

Retail Sales Higher
U.S. retail sales soared last month as it appears consumers used tax refund checks to increase spending. But experts say it's really because most Americans are stocking up on essentials so they won't have to leave their homes until the presidential election is over.


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