They Don't Care
President Obama told a crowd at a Democratic fundraiser in Chicago last night that the Republicans aren't compassionate... at least not as compassionate as all the caring people willing to pay a humble and needy political campaign $10,000 to attend that fundraiser.


They Don't Care II
President Obama told a crowd at a Democratic fundraiser in Chicago last night that the Republicans aren't compassionate... this from a man who is allowing the cancellation of "One Life to Live" and "All My Children" on his watch!



China Inflation
Food prices are rising 12% a year in China. Luckily, the Chinese just plan to continue eating our lunch.


Sleepy Controllers
Scientists say air controllers SHOULD take nap breaks on the job... preferrably when Charlie Sheen is travelling.


Cops Laid Off
The city of Paterson, New Jersey is laying off a quarter of its police force. Luckily, most of those cops are finding jobs with local drug gangs that have better dental plans anyway.




April 15th


1912: The RMS Titanic, sinks in the North Atlantic. To mark that anniversary, every cruise ship buffet around the world today will open with a moment of silence.

1924: Rand McNally publishes its first road atlas. Women have found it helpful ever since… men continue to refuse to admit they’re lost.

1957: White Rock, British Columbia officially separates from Surrey, British Columbia… Surrey keeps custody of the kids.