Toyota Trouble
The bad news is Toyota will have serious problems providing dealers with enough cars this summer. The worse news is that Chrysler will have NO problems providing dealers with enough cars this summer.


New Kindle
Amazon is introducing a new Kindle that comes with ads for $25 less than a regular Kindle. And for $50 less, you can get a Kindle that makes fun of you every time you buy another diet book.



New Record
Oil rig company Transocean has set a record by drilling almost two miles down off the coast of India. Experts say that's almost deep enough to bury the world's most annoying environmentalists.



Big Payout
Aetna's former CEO got a $68.7 million payout when he retired from the company last week. But the joke's on him as he will only be getting that money in a series of weekly $15 co-pays for the next four million years.



Jerry's Promise
Jerry Brown will sign a bill today calling for the state to get a third of its energy from renewable sources by 2020. It's a bold move since most of California's non-renewable energy is already being used to power Jerry Brown.




April 12th


238: Gordian II loses the Battle of Carthage against Maximinus Thrax and is killed. Gordian I, his father, commits suicide… his younger brother asks for his room.


1945: President Franklin D. Roosevelt dies; Eleanor immediately starts trying to date his girlfriends.


1992: Euro Disneyland officially opens. The resort and its park's name were subsequently changed to “Escape from Losing Money Mountain.”