Together Again!
Katie Couric and Matt Lauer are looking to do a show together. It will be called, "Smile, Shut Up, and Read the TelePrompTer!"



Tax the Rich!
President Obama says this is the time to tax the rich... you know, before his policies make the rich extinct in another 6 months.


Lunch Ban
The principal of a Chicago public school has banned kids from bringing their own lunches from home. She made the move after school bullies complained of a 17% dropoff in stolen lunch money revenue.



Kidney Find
A man was able to find the kidney he needed on Facebook... but now he keeps getting creepy friend requests from the donor's liver and pancreas.



Smoke Ban
California is trying to ban smoking in tobacco shops... that follows the state's effective ban of learning in its public schools.




April 11th


1689: William III and Mary II are crowned as joint sovereigns of Britain… but we all know who wore the pants in that castle!


1865: President Abraham Lincoln makes his last public speech… his TelePrompTer went on the fritz from then until his assassination.


1899: Spain cedes Puerto Rico to the United States… mostly to avoid the mayhem that would become the annual Puerto Rican Day parade.