Thursday, January 06, 2011

L.A. in Trouble
L.A.'s top financial official has told the Mayor that the city won't be able to hire any new cops unless it takes in more tax revenue and finds some way to protect them from Lindsay Lohan.

Priceline Soars
Priceline stock is now up over $400 per share. That explains William Shatner's new gold plated toupee.

Cut Off
The bad news for John Edwards is that Elizabeth Edwards cut him out of her will, the good news is he's already started sleeping with her estate attorney.

Phony "Evidence"
It turns out the doctors who claimed that vaccines can cause autism completely doctored his “evidence.” In fact, his data was almost as phony as Jenny McCarthy’s breasts.

Illegals Get Free Lawyers
A federal judge has ruled that taxpayers have to pay for lawyers to represent illegal aliens in their deportation cases. Hey, we've already given them all our jobs... why not spring for a lawyer too?

January 6th

1853: President-elect Franklin Pierce and his family are involved in a train wreck near Andover, Massachusetts. Usually, presidents don’t become train wrecks until AFTER they take the oath of office.

1893: The Washington National Cathedral is chartered by Congress… in hopes of keeping all the religious people in one place so the politicians could keep an eye on them.

1929: Mother Teresa arrives in Calcutta to begin working as a nude model… and when that crashes and burns, she starts helping India's poorest and sick people.


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