Pay Freeze
New York's new Governor Andrew Cuomo is proposing a one-year freeze on state worker pay... mostly because he doesn't want to pay as much for hookers as Governor Spitzer.



New Sex Shop
A new drive-thru sex toy shop in Huntsville, Alabama offers privacy for customers. It's located right next to the private wedding chapel where people can quietly marry their cousins.



New Duran Duran Album
Duran Duran says it wants to focus on the "now" with its new album... mostly because their brains are too fried from drugs to remember the 1980's.



Online Doctors Visits
Studies show more and more medical practices are examining patients online... and for some people, taking off their clothes in front of a webcam isn't so unusual.



Facebook Investment
Goldman Sachs has just invested $500 million in Facebook… but no matter how much money those Wall Street jerks put in, they can’t get Scarlett Johansson to accept their friend requests.





January 3rd


1496: Leonardo da Vinci unsuccessfully tests a flying machine. The machine actually worked, he was just stopped from getting aboard by the TSA.

1861: Delaware votes not to secede from the United States. No one noticed either way.

1932: Martial law is declared in Honduras to stop a revolt by banana workers… and get them to stop singing that “Day-Oh” song over and over too.