Thursday, December 30, 2010

No Plowing
It turns out unionized sanitation workers deliberately didn't plow the city's streets in order to protest some layoffs. The only people in New York avoiding work more are playing for the New York Giants defense.

Medicare Explosion
Starting this Saturday, a new baby boomer will become eligible for Medicare every eight seconds... so every time a bell rings, you can be sure that a creepy guy with a combover is getting his Viagra.

Favre Fined
The NFL has fined Brett Favre $50,000 for not cooperating with its investigation of him for sexual harassment... and $100,000 for wearing crocs in public.

Jacko Defense
Defense lawyers for Dr. Conrad Murray will claim that Michael Jackson deliberately killed himself... not with drugs, but by doing the video for "Smooth Criminal."

Mass Mistake
The state of Massachusetts has announced strict new emissions limits. But state residents are sure to break those limits as millions of them get in their cars to drive the Hell out of Massachusetts.

December 30th

1066: A Muslim mob storms the royal palace in Granada, crucifies Jewish vizier Joseph ibn Naghrela and massacres most of the Jewish population of the city. Leftist scholars are still trying to figure out how peaceful Muslims got so angry about Israel almost 900 years before it was even founded.

1916: The last coronation in Hungary is performed for King Charles IV and Queen Zita. After them, all Hungarian kings and queens got their crowns in the mail.

1993: Israel and the Vatican establish diplomatic relations and form a pact to make everyone in the world feel guilty.


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