Penny-a-Ride
New Year's partiers in Chicago will be able to ride the trains and buses tonight for just one penny... but the catch is that they will have to clean up their own puke.



Maine Asks Out
The state of Maine is asking to be exempted from a key part of Obamacare... the part that doesn't give you free coverage when you freeze to death.



Ivy League Charity Push
Two Yale professors and one from Cornell are starting a movement calling on all "rich" people to donate more money to charity. In other words, they're raising tuition prices at Yale and Cornell.



Estate Tax Deadline
When the new year begins, the estate tax goes from 0% to a whopping 35% for multi-millionaires. Which means Paris Hilton's dogs have until midnight to maul her to death.



UConn Streak Ends
The UConn women's basketball team had its winning streak broken at 90 games last night after losing to Stanford. UConn falls 10 wins short of a 100-game streak and 1,000 wins shy of getting anyone to care about women's basketball.





December 31st


1225: The Ly Dynasty of Vietnam ends after 216 years after the death of Ly Chieu Hoang and a visit from Rambo.

1862: Abraham Lincoln signs an act that admits West Virginia to the Union, thus finally giving toothless Americans equal citizenship rights.

1951: The Marshall Plan expires after American taxpayers can no longer support helping people who wear Capezios.