Thursday, November 11, 2010

Disney Leak
Disney is trying to find out who leaked its bad earnings report before the stock market closed. Investigators have rounded up the usual prime suspects Grumpy, Captain Hook, and Cruella DeVille.

Ill Education
A new study shows that eight of 10 public high school graduates in Illinois aren't ready for college classes... and the other two are only smart enough to get into Indiana State.

Cruise Ship Returns
Relieved passengers on the Carnival Splendor are back on land after three nightmarish days adrift with limited food, backed-up toilets and dark cabins. But all in all, it was better than spending three hours flying on United.

Latinos Flee Arizona
A new study suggests there may be 100,000 fewer Hispanics in Arizona thanks to that tough new immigration law passed earlier this year... the other reason could be that Latinos are just too smart to go to Arizona State.

Obama's Assessment
President Obama says the global economy is 'back on the path to recovery,'... mostly because he only has two more years in office.

November 12th

1555: The English Parliament re-establishes Catholicism. In return, Notre Dame football broadcasts are restored to the nation.

1941: Temperatures around Moscow drop to -12 ° Celsius, finally making it cold enough for most fat guys to get some sex.

1998: Vice President Al Gore signs the Kyoto Protocol… then gets back to harassing his Japanese massage girls.


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