Racist Game System?
Critics claim the new Microsoft Xbox Kinect is racist because its controllers allegedly don't recognize black players... kind of like the New York Times sports section.



Asian Trip Cost
The White House says it cannot say how much the President's 10-day trip to Asia will cost due to "security concerns"... because if there's one thing that makes al Qaeda violent, it's cost overruns.



CT Scans for Smokers
The government just spent $250 million of your tax money to find that CT scans for all smokers would reduce their death rate by 20%. Another study that cost just 50 cents shows that not smoking would reduce the death rate by 100%.



Fat Spreads
A new study shows that obesity may be contagious. For example, most people find that when they're out with Rosie O'Donnell, it's eat or be eaten.



Geithner Meets Stewart
Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner recently held a two-hour meeting with John Stewart. After about 5 minutes, Stewart was already calling him "dude."






November 5th


1862: Abraham Lincoln removes George B. McClellan as commander of the Union Army for the second time, and again replaces him with Billy Martin.


1895: George B. Selden is granted the first U.S. patent for an automobile… so the next time you’re stuck on the “expressway” for five hours, blame George Selden!!!


1995: André Dallaire attempts to assassinate Prime Minister Jean Chrétien of Canada. He is thwarted when someone turns on the Maple Leafs game on ESPN.