Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Oklahoma Official Language
In Tuesday's elections, voters in Oklahoma overwhelmingly chose English as their official language... they hope to begin speaking it soon.

Bonuses Up
Wall Street bonuses are expected to be 5% higher this year. Those guys really deserve credit for not getting sick of foreclosing on homes for the third year in a row!

GM filed the papers for what will be a $13 billion IPO... well, it tried to file the papers, it's just that the company sent the papers in a Chevy and it broke down on the way to the SEC offices.

Lowering the Bar
Illinois is lowering the scores needed for passing grades in school reading and math proficiency tests. Officials are hoping to make sure the students don't become overqualified to run for statewide office.

Bernanke's Column
Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke has writted an editorial in the Washington Post to explain the Fed's latest stimulus move... and also to beg someone out there to give him another job.

November 4th

1922: Archaeologist Howard Carter finds the entrance to Pharaoh Tutankhamun's tomb… he had already found the King Tut souvenier gift shop two weeks earlier.

1955: After being destroyed in World War II, the rebuilt Vienna State Opera reopens… much to the chagrin of every kid forced to go there on field trips for the last 55 years.

1956: Soviet troops enter Hungary to end the Hungarian revolution against the Soviet Union, and get some decent toilet paper to bring home.


Post a Comment

<< Home