Bush Speaking Gig
Former President George W. Bush will be the featured speaker at the "Get Motivated" seminar in Fort Worth this Saturday. The organizers are hoping Mr. Bush will motivate the attendees as much as he did Keith Olberman.



Rosie Divorce?
Rosie O'Donnell and spouse Kelli Carpenter are reportedly "having issues"... which is code for Rosie's checks aren't clearing fast enough.



Subway Discounts
The New York City Subway system is considering reduced fares for late-night riders... and they'll get an even bigger discount if they promise not to pee on the train.



Bank Pay Cuts
White House pay czar Kenneth Feinberg is ordering salary cuts of up to 90% for the top executives of the bailed out banks. By that logic, Feinberg should cut the salaries of every member on Congress by 725%.



Cookie Diet
The latest weight loss craze is the "cookie diet" which involves eating six pre-packaged cookies per day. Experts warn that while people on the diet do lose weight, many of them also become furry and blue.






October 22nd


362: The temple of Apollo at Daphne, outside of Antioch, is destroyed in a mysterious fire. Apollo is later arrested while trying to collect the insurance money.


1964: Jean-Paul Sartre is awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature, but turns down the honor in favor of giving it to a three-year-old Barack Obama who had just learned to draw a happy face with a crayon.


1976: Red Dye No. 4 is banned in the U.S. after it is discovered that it causes tumors. The dye is still used in Canada, where everyone's bladder is immune to those effects due to overdrinking Molson and Labatt's.