Starting next Monday, several pro-Atheism ads will adorn subway stations across New York City. The ads aren't expected to be very effective, as most New Yorkers will be too busy praying to survive their commute to see them.



Public Option Savings?
A new report estimates that the House Democrats' health care plan with the public option would actually reduce the deficit. The report is based on assumptions that Congress will cut Medicare costs, doctors will accept lower payments, and unicorns and fairies will heal cancer with magic beans.



Radio Royalties
Congress is close to passing a bill that will require radio stations to pay musicians royalties every time they play their songs. No word yet on whether they'll make the stations pay the listeners anything for having to hear Ashley Simpson.



Bombing Probe
Investigators are still trying to find answers after a deadly university in Pakistan yesterday. The bombing attack was especially tragic and pointless, because it occurred at the Islamic University and thus interrupted several bomb-making classes.



Tuition Hikes
College tuitions are rising again. This is due to endowment losses, less state funding, and the fact that the colleges have to charge more because most of the students' broke parents are trying to move in to the dorms.




October 21st


1512: Martin Luther joins the theological faculty of the University of Wittenberg and immediately learns that academic life is about 10 times more corrupt and empty than anything in the Catholic Church.


1520: In an eerie coincidence, Ferdinand Magellan discovers a strait known as Strait of Magellan.


1854: Florence Nightingale and a staff of 38 nurses are sent to the Crimean War... where they begin by refusing to be innoculated with the flu vaccination.


1861: Union forces under Colonel Edward Baker are defeated by Confederate troops in the Battle of Ball's Bluff... mostly because Col. Baker couldn't stop snickering when he heard the battle's name.


1879: Using a filament of carbonized thread, Thomas Edison tests the first practical electric incandescent light bulb. For this act he is later branded a murderer by the environmentalist movement.


1921: President Warren G. Harding delivers the first speech by a sitting President against lynching in the Deep South. He is still in favor of lynching in the not soo Deep South, however.