Clinton Spotlight
Bill Clinton is still enjoying the afterglow of his prisoner release triumph. Usually when he releases a pair, he's just unhooking a bra.



Sotomayor Vote
The Senate is expected to confirm Judge Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court later today. Sotomayor replaces Justice David Souter, who had been on the court for 19 years and only got 14 miles per gallon.



Cash for Clunkers Latest
Senate Democrats are pushing to extend the cash for clunkers program, reminding us that every American has a right to use taxpayer money to buy a Toyota.



Squeaky Free
Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme, the woman who tried to shoot President Ford, is about to be released from prison after 34 years. The parole board decided to set Fromme free mostly because no one remembers who President Ford was anyway.



"Gay Therapy" Disavowed
The American Psychological Association now says that all therapies trying to change a person from gay to striaght are not effective. But it does admit that most people can go from straight to gay from watching "Sex in the City."



Fannie, Freddie Split
The government may split the assets of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac into two separate funds that will be called "Crap" and "Crappier."




August 6th

1538: Bogotá, Colombia, is founded by Gonzalo Jiménez de Quesada... or did he just imagine it during a cocaine-induced frenzy?

1890: At Auburn Prison in New York, murderer William Kemmler becomes the first person to be executed by electric chair. Afterwards, anti-death penalty protesters clash with environmentalists over who was angrier about it.

1909: Alice Ramsey and three friends become the first women to complete a transcontinental auto trip. Most Americans still think it was Thelma and Louise.

1914: Serbia declares war on Germany; Austria declares war on Russia, and if you kids don't stop fighting, I'm turning this car around right now!