Tween Birth Control
A middle school in Portland, Maine is now offering its students free birth control pills... they come in a variety of flavors, including raspberry, strawberry and lemon.



Britney Loses
Britney Spears' visitation rights with her children were suspended Thursday until she complies with court orders. So the only way to truly avoid having to see Britney Spears in America is to be one of her children.



Nobel Bigot
Dr. James Watson, winner of the 1962 Nobel Prize for Medicine, is under fire after he claimed black people are less intelligent than whites. The Nobel committee is especially embarrassed, since it usually only awards racists the Nobel Peace Prize.



Oil Surges
Oil prices extended a record rally to more than $89 a barrel on Thursday. But that and the current housing slump has boosted the net worth of millions of Americans who are now living in their car.



Hastert's Early Exit
Former House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert will resign before his term ends 15 months from now, ending a 21-year career in Congress. Insiders say Hastert is eager to leave office before the $5 grand slam breakfast deal expires at Denny's