Drug Bust
DEA agents say they have dismantled a crime ring by arresting couriers who stitched packets of drugs into their pants and then took cruise ships to the U.S. Well, there goes those great heroin deals they used to have in the duty free shop on Royal Caribbean.









Super Bowl Commercial
A Nationwide Mutual Insurance Superbowl as will feature Kevin Federline day-dreaming of a show-biz career, while actually working at a rundown fast-food joint. Meanwhile, most of America is wishing Federline was still working at a rundown fast-food joint.





Amazon Population
Brazilian scientists now believe more Indian tribes are living in the Amazon rain forest than previously believed. Researchers were able to identify these
highly-primitive people after finding their footprints, abandoned huts, and dial-up Internet connections.





Women & Porn
According to a new study, 17 percent of women surf the Internet for porn. The other 83% are too busy trying to catch their husbands surfing for porn.







Pregnant Chimp
Officials at the Chimp Haven in the Shreveport, Louisiana zoo were surprised when a female chimpanzee gave birth, despite the fact that the facility's entire male chimp population has had vasectomies. So that's what zookeeper Earl was doing all those nights he said he had to work late!





Antarctic Discovery
A British team of explorers is about to become the first to reach the most inaccessible part of the Antarctic called the "Pole of Inaccessibility"... otherwise known as "Dr. Laura."