Ford Ceremonies
In a poignant tribute to the late President Gerald Ford, his body will lie in state in the U.S. Capitol. And in an even more poignant tribute, his casket will be dropped from the top of the steps of Air Force One.





Cloned Food Allowed
The FDA has approved meat and milk from cloned animals for human consumption. Now they just have to clone the three people in America willing to eat that crap.







Brown Viewing
As thousands of people made their way to the Apollo Theater in Harlem to pay their final respects to James Brown, the Rev. Al Sharpton is keeping a constant vigil beside the late singer's body. It's the only way Sharpton can make sure he gets all of Brown's leftover hair gel.





Weapons to Palestine
Egypt has sent a large shipment of weapons to forces loyal to Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas. Abbas says he needs the weapons to fend off violent challenges from Hamas, and it made sense to get them during the after-Christmas terrorist arms sales when all the stores are cutting prices like crazy.






L.A. Winds
Wind gusts as high as 70 MPH are causing major damage throughout Southern California. Usually, Hollywood doesn't produce this much hot air until Oscar night.