Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Shuttle Launch
The space shuttle Discovery launched into orbit early Tuesday, despite some questions about safety. NASA officials would have delayed the launch a few more hours, but they wanted to beat the July Fourth traffic.

Shuttle Mission
Space Shuttle Discovery's mission will be to deliver supplies to the international space station, drop off a European Space Agency astronaut, and hang out in space until NASA can come up with enough gas money to bring it home.

N. Korea Missile Test
North Korea test-launched a Taepodong-2 long-range missile Tuesday, but it apparently failed in mid-air. As a result, the people of North Korea will have their daily dirt rations cut by half.

Anti-Osama Division Canned
A CIA unit that had hunted for Osama bin Laden and his top deputies has been disbanded. Agents from that division are being transferred to the more important job listening in on all Americans' phone calls.

New Jersey Budget
Because of a budget battle in the legislature, all of New Jersey's most important state institutions could be shut down. Millions of New Jerseyians are trying to figure out what to do without diners and highway rest stops.


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