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Top 5 3rd Anniversary of the War Gifts You Can Give an Iraqi Citizen

5) Down Flak Jacket

4) Copies of Right Wing papers filled with stories about how great their lives are

3) Tiffany silver candlestick detonators

2) Copy of Dick Cheney's latest book: "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Foreign Wars and Quail Hunting"

1) Some soap to wash off that dye they got when they voted 3 months ago

French Riots
Thousands of French university students are rioting over the proposed loss of job protections for young workers. The crowds became even more violent when they saw all the cars they wanted to trash had already been torched by the Muslim rioters last fall.

French Riots II
Thousands of French university students are rioting over the proposed loss of job protections for young workers. They'd be even angrier if they wanted jobs in the first place.

French Riots III
Thousands of French university students are rioting in Paris. It's just the French college version of "March Madness."

French Riots IV
One of the first things the rioters did was vandalize a Paris McDonald's... but that was because the Muslim students thought the Ronald McDonald cartoons on the Happy Meals looked too much like the prophet Muhammad.

French Riots V
One of the first things the student rioters did was vandalize a Paris McDonald's... but that was only because they learned the Egg McMuffin isn't baked with real hand-whipped butter.

French Riots VI
Experts say the violent rioting by French University students is due to the combination of political unrest and unemployment. When American college students start rioting, it's usually due to the combination of booze and their parents' credit cards.

March Madness
Americans can't get enough of the NCAA basketball tournament, even though most fans couldn't tell you where most of the schools' campuses are... unfortunately neither can those schools' players.

March Madness II
You can learn a lot about the nation's colleges and universities just by watching the NCAA basketball tournament this weekend. For example, apparently most schools are offering their athletes scholarships for tuition, housing, and tattoos.