NEWSDAY ALERT!! I'm back in today's "Punchlines" column in Newsday and Newsday.com. Here's the link: Newsday

Top 5 Best Excuses for Dropping the Whole Semester

5) 3 of your professors just posted erotic pictures of themselves on your MySpace page

4) You're not pregnant, and you'd better get off campus if your parents want to keep it that way

3) You just want to come back to school next semester with two things you didn't have this time around: a positive attitude and some pants

2) You finally realized that 40 grand in tuition, room and board goes a lot further in Vegas!

1) You need to find some good hiding places before they reinstate the draft