Monday, November 28, 2005

Armed and Crazy
Gun control advocates are complaining that mentally ill Americans aren't barred from buying firearms. But if we stopped the mentally ill from buying things, who would line up outside of Wal-Mart at 3AM the day after Thanksgiving?

Top 5 Signs You Spent Too Much this Weekend

5) You know how to trample your fellow shoppers without getting caught on the store's surveillance camera

4) You've been asked to interview for a job as President Bush's budget director

3) The employees at your local Wal-Mart are asking YOU to give them healthcare insurance

2) When you go home, you stand at the foot of your staircase for 15 minutes before you remember it's not an escalator

1) After you get your next credit card statement, the next time you go to the mall you'll be working there

Clark for the Defense
Former U.S. Attorney General Ramsey Clark, who worked under President Lyndon Johnson, is joining the Saddam Hussein defense team. But since Hussein is accused of torturing people, shouldn't he try to get a lawyer from the Bush administration?

Lego Thief
A 40-year-old man from Oregon has been arrested after police say he stole $200,000 worth of Lego sets from stores across the Pacific Northwest. The suspect was easy to spot; he was one driving the battery-powered red, yellow and green car that was shaped like a box.

Potter Still #1
The new Harry Potter movie is still #1 at the box office, despite the fact that this film is darker and scarier than the others. But most fans still find this movie less frightening than spending any more time with their relatives this weekend.

France Snow
An unexpected blizzard this weekend in Paris has paralyzed the city. The biggest problem is that French rioters are finding it impossible to set the snow-covered cars on fire.

Morita Dies
"Karate Kid" star Pat Morita has died at age 73. He was a true pioneer, best known for becoming one of the first Japanese-American stars, and being the only actor in Hollywood who could pretend to respect Ralph Macchio.


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