Lucas Award
George Lucas will receive the American Film Institute's 2005 Lifetime Achievement Award in June. Of course, giving Lucas a Lifetime Achievement Award is the polite way of saying, "please stop making movies now!"

Sinclair's Latest Move
Sinclair Broadcasting says it won't change its mind about showing an anti-John Kerry documentary right before the election. And now the company also plans on keeping Kerry's senior citizen supporters from going to the polls by airing a 24-hour "Matlock" marathon on election day.

Toilet Summit
Singapore is the setting for the World Toilet Summit, which is being held by ecological groups discussing human waste. Of course we already had a similar summit in the U.S. this summer, but we called it the Republican National Convention

D&D Anniversary
This Saturday, Dungeons and Dragons players gathered in game stores around the country to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the fantasy role-playing game. Actually, it's not clear if they were all there to celebrate the anniversary, or just doing what they always on Saturday... which is hang out all day at game stores.

Social Security Benefits
The federal government is boosting Social Security benefits by about $25 per month. The money should help seniors pay heating bills, buy groceries, and get a good stick to whack people who try to cut in front of them in the flu shot line.

Box Office Winner
For the third week in a row, the number one movie at the box office was Shark Tale, which made 22.1 million dollars. But that's only because the 500 million lawyers in America thought it was about them.

Navy Dress Code
The U.S. Navy will now allow female officers to wear skirts in an effort to encourage more women to join the service. But for men, wearing a skirt is still the best way to get out of the service.

Jeb's Not Running
Jeb Bush says he won't be a candidate for the White House in 2008. But that's only because none of his brothers will be able to replace him as Governor of Florida in time to fix the election for him.