New Orleans Evacuations
Thousands of New Orleans residents are evacuating the area, leaving the city a virtual ghost town. But it's not clear what's panicking the locals more, the impending Hurricane, or the announcement that all the bars in the French Quarter are closed.

Olberman Nude
In a Playgirl survey, MSNBC anchorman Keith Olberman was voted the male journalist women most want to see naked. So in hope of gaining female votes, President Bush is having Olberman arrested and sent to Abu Ghraib prison.

Smoking Study
A new study says adults who frequently talk to their kids about smoking have the best chance to keep those children from becoming smokers themselves. So from now on, I'm going to take time out every day to ask my kid to go get me my smokes.

Chinese Executions
The Chinese government has executed four executives from state-run banks for fraud. Americans are reacting to the news by asking whether we can extradite Ken Lay and Bernie Ebbers to China.

CBS Credibility
A new report shows that despite warnings from experts that the documents were low quality and could not authenticated, CBS still aired the story about President Bush's alleged National Guard service memos. But if CBS always refused to broadcast low-quality items, it never would be able to air "Two and Half Men," "Yes Dear," or "The Amazing Race."