Protester Discounts
New York City is offering special deals to protesters planning to come to the city during the Republican Convention. The activists will get cheap accommodations from participating hotels, low-cost meals at special restaurants, and the perfect place to practice heckling and protesting when they get free tickets to see the Mets.

Frey Questioned
Scott Peterson's lawyers are set to cross-examine Amber Frey in court today. They're expected to get answers to the questions most Americans are asking, like why she stayed with Peterson for so long, when she started recording their conversations, and where she got that great new dye job.

Florida Conditions
Tensions are mounting in Florida as provisions are still being rationed in the wake of Hurricane Charley. It's the most severe shortage of key supplies in the state since the day Rush Limbaugh and Noelle Bush walked into the same pharmacy.

SAT Essay
The SAT college entrance exam will now include an essay section. Students who do the best on the segment will add 100 more points to their overall score, average essayists will get 50 more points, and the worst writers will be offered jobs with the Kerry campaign.

American Idol in DC
Thousands of people came to Washington, DC this week to audition for "American Idol," and the contestants found they had a lot in common with Republican members of Congress. They're untalented, undeserving, and basically just working for FOX

Drunken Bear
To lure and catch a wild bear who got loose near a campground, police near Seattle used a trap filled with doughnuts, honey and two open cans of beer. After the bear was subdued, the cops returned the trap to the Bush campaign.