Bush Reaction
President Bush declared Florida a disaster area this weekend... and after he saw how badly he's doing in all the state polls, he began surveying the hurricane damage.

Gov. Bush Reaction
Florida Governor Jeb Bush says the hurricane made his "worst fears come true." Which means the storm destroyed hundreds of
homes, cut power to several cities, and somehow managed to register a few thousand new voters.

Top 5 Things Distracting the U.S. Olympic Basketball Team

-New teammates need at least two games to get used to Allen Iverson's 573 tattoos

-Takes several hours to find parking spaces in Athens for 12 "pimped-out" Cadillac Escalades every day

-U.S. Players bothered by issues troubling all international athletes, like terrorism, doping, and the Kobe Bryant trial

-Players having hard time learning Greece's complicated paternity laws

-Players having trouble learning to adapt to strange Olympic customs like eating exotic food, hearing foreign languages, and passing the ball

Air Marshals-Convention Rules
The Department of Homeland Security is ordering all federal air marshals to change their habits in order to blend in with all the Republicans flying to New York for the convention. That means all the white marshals will have to wear coats and ties and pretend they're businessmen, and all the black marshals will have to speak incoherently and pretend they're running for the Senate from Illinois.

Iranian Judo Boycott
Iran's top Judo champion may be disqualified from the Olympics after refusing to face an Israeli athlete in a preliminary match. It's the first time a Muslim hasn't really shown up to fight an Israeli since the Six Day War.

Weekend Box Office
The new film "Alien vs. Predator" took the top spot at the box office thanks to confusion about the film's plot. Most fans knew it was a sci-fi horror flick, but thousands of others went to theaters thinking it was a movie about illegal Mexicans fighting Governor Schwarzenegger for a driver's license