Tiger Attack Explained
Siegfried Fischbacher says the white tiger did not attack his partner Roy Horn, but was simply trying to help him offstage by picking him up by the neck with its teeth. Wildlife experts aren't sure if that account is true, but they are certain that in the coming weeks, Fischbacher can expect to get job offers from Johnnie Cochran's law firm and the Republican National Committee.


New Ride
Disney World is unveiling a new $100 million ride that simulates a space shuttle mission to Mars. Business experts say CEO Michael Eisner's decision to team up with NASA really makes him look better, because the space agency is the only organization that's wasted more money than Disney in the last 10 years.