Conjoined Twins Surgery
Doctors in Dallas have successfully separated two-year-old twin boys from Egypt who had been joined at the head after 34 hours in surgery. Now little Ahmed and Mohamed Ibrahim will be able to fulfill their parents' dreams of carrying out separate suicide bombings against Israelis AND Americans.

NFL Lawsuit
The parents of a girl injured in an accident caused by a drunken New York Giants fan who drank 14 beers at a game have sued the NFL, contending the league promotes that kind of behavior. Meanwhile, Giants fans are suing the team, contending that the way they play makes it impossible to watch them unless you drink at least 14 beers at the game.