Sunday, December 31, 2006

Times Square New Year's Eve
About a million people have gathered in New York's Times Square to ring in 2007. Instead of a giant crystal ball, the new year will be marked by the dropping of Saddam's Hussein's lifeless body.

Crowds in Washington
Thousands of people are lining up outside the Capitol Building... but they're going to be very upset when they find out it's not James Brown in that casket.

Top 5 Things Overheard on the Line to View Former President Gerald R. Ford

5) "I don't care if he is dead, I'm gonna slug him one for giving us Jimmy Carter"

4) "You see, there really was such a thing as a moderate Republican"

3) "We're going out drinking with Betty later."

2) "He wasn't the greatest president, but he was genius to invent that Model-T"

1) "I'm really, really going to miss him; I was his orthopedic surgeon"

Low Blow
A 34-year-old North Carolina woman has been charged with attacking and castrating a man during a Christmas party last week. The woman faces 10 years in prison and a four-year stint as the new district attorney of Durham County.


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