Friday, May 05, 2006

Kennedy Rehab
After his car accident Thursday, Congressman Patrick Kennedy is going into rehab at the Mayo Clinic. The first thing the doctors will do is advise Kennedy to stay far away from his parents at all times.

Kennedy Rehab II
News of Patrick Kennedy's prescription drug addiction is actually most painful for Rush Limbaugh. Because of his own prescription drug addiction, Rush won't be able to make fun of a Kennedy in trouble for the first time in his career.

Goss Goes
CIA Director Porter Goss is resigning. Goss is now looking forward to spending his time heckling Donald Rumsfeld at public events.

Goss Goes II
CIA Director Porter Goss is resigning. Goss drew the ire of right wing Republicans because his agency never did find out who killed Jesus.

Goss Goes III
CIA Director Porter Goss is resigning. President Bush is pushing him out for failing to give him advance warnings about Stephen Colbert.

Goss Goes IV
CIA Director Porter Goss is resigning and leaving Washington. Goss says he just doesn't feel safe living in the area with people like Patrick Kennedy on the streets.


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