Obama Editorial
President Obama has an editorial in today's Financial Times, touting all his economic accomplishments. Topping the list: he was able to con the Financial Times to let him write an editorial touting all his economic accomplishments.



Something's Fishy
Consumer Reports says most fish dishes in America are mislabeled. Food inspectors are responding by forcing McDonalds to rename their popular seafood sandwich the "Filet O'Plankton."



King Got Conned
Larry King says he invested $700,000 with Bernie Madoff, but got it all back. This means he won't have to choose between paying his divorce lawyers or buying adult diapers.



China Scandal
A baby girl abandoned on a city street in China has died. The incident is forcing a moral crisis in China, as most people are outraged that the baby wasn't working in a sneaker factory.



UK Succession Rules
Great Britain has changed its royal succession rules. Men will no longer have precedence over girls in line for the throne... which is great news for Prince Charles.






October 28th




97: Emperor Nerva is forced to adopt Marcus Ulpius Trajanus... but at least he came with a leash and some house breaking pads.



1775: A British proclamation forbids residents from leaving Boston. It was never rescinded... which explains why there are still some people living in Boston.



1958: John XXIII is elected as Pope, making good on his "more Roman numerals" campaign promises.