Thursday, October 20, 2011


NBA Talks Fail
The NBA labor talks have broken off and there seems to be little chance there will be a season this year. With players not getting paid, the big question is: how do you repossess a tattoo?



Jobs Surgery Delay
The new Steve Jobs biography says he delayed cancer surgery while he sought out holistic healing methods for nine months. He must have been getting his medical advice from the people who designed the new BlackBerry.



Chicken Run
Thousands of live chickens spilled onto a California highway yesterday after a massive truck crash. Officials aren't going to chase the chickens, they'll just let them be eaten by the lions and tigers let loose by that maniac in Ohio.



Cap and Crash
California has adopted new cap and trade on businesses that emit carbons in the state. But the only businesses emitting anything in California now are the state unemployment offices.



Lohan Sorry
Lindsay Lohan says she's sorry for showing up late to her communuity service job at a California morgue. Actually the way she drinks and drives, she's about five years late to the morgue already.





October 21st



1512: Martin Luther joins the theological faculty of the University of Wittenberg. He is immediately asked to give passing grades to the entire football team.


1816: The Penang Free School is founded in George Town, Penang, Malaysia, by the Rev Hutchings. The school has remained free of all Penang for the last 195 years.


1921: President Warren G. Harding delivers the first speech by a sitting President against lynching in the deep south... then he goes back to his Klan meeting.

1 Comments:

At 8:03 AM, Blogger Matt Fillmore said...

Very funny as usual.

 

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