Park Clearing
The NYPD has delayed a plan to evict the "Occupy Wall Street" protesters from Lower Manhattan in order to wash and sanitize the area. The reason for the delay was that no one wanted to wash and sanitize the protesters.



State Dinner
The White House held a state dinner for South Korea's president last night. It's not clear who was more upset about it, anti-free trade activists or the Obama's dog.



iPhone on Sale
The new iPhone 4S goes on sale today. Every Apple store is setting up special displays and large garbage cans where people can throw their BlackBerries.



College Controversy
A college professor in New Jersey is in trouble for asking a stuttering student not to ask questions in class. Apparently his stammer was disrupting all the other kids who were trying to sleep.



Moore at Dinner
Even though he's a strong opponent of free trade, Michael Moore was a guest at the White House state dinner for the South Korean president last night. He may not like free trade, but he loves a free meal.




October 14th


1322: Robert the Bruce of Scotland defeats King Edward II of England at Byland... Byland is now a very popular gay bar.


1958: The District of Columbia's Bar Association votes to accept African-Americans as members... which was really good news for the Association since there were only three white people left in the city anyway.


1967: Folk singer Joan Baez begins physically blocking the U.S. Army's induction center in Oakland, California. Her protest backfires when all the inductees suddenly get the killer instinct after hearing her sing.