Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Reid's Plan
Senator Harry Reid wants to impose a 5% surcharge on millionaires to pay for President Obama's $500 billion jobs bill. It's not clear if any of that 5% will include the minimum $100,000 the President expects from each of them in campaign donations.

Protest March
The "Occupy Wall Street" protesters will march to New York's City Hall today. Apparently the demonstrators want to meet with some other people who don't really have to work for a living.

iPhone Fail
The big unveiling yesterday of the new iPhone failed to impress investors and Apple customers. Coincidentally, that's the same way most women feel when they date guys who work at Apple.

Burnett Redemption
New York Yankee pitcher AJ Burnett redeemed himself after a terrible regular season by pitching the Yanks to a 10-1 win over Detroit in the playoffs last night. Burnett's teammates are eternal grateful to him... but not as grateful as they are to the bus driver and airline pilots who safely got them out of Detroit after the game.

Protest Demand
The Wall Street protesters say they "want a voice"... the people who live near the protests wish they wanted a bath.

October 5th

1143: King Alfonso VII of León recognises Portugal as a Kingdom... but he is still totally clueless when he tries to remember his in-laws' first names.

1905: Wilbur Wright pilots Wright Flyer III in a flight of 24 miles in 39 minutes. Now it takes 39 minutes to move 24 inches up in the security line at O'Hare.

1945: A six-month strike by Hollywood set decorators turns into a bloody riot when three of the demonstrators show up wearing the exact same outfit.


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