Toucan Tussle
Kellogg's wants a group trying to preserve Mayan culture to change its logo because it looks too much like "Toucan Sam" from Fruit Loops! It also wants Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner to stop looking like the guy on the Lucky Charms box.



Miami Probe
U. of Miami President Donna Shalala says 15 athletes at the school are under investigation. There's a nasty rumor going around that they actually went to class.



Libya Latest
Moamar Qadaffi may not be leaving power so fast after all. Hei may never leave Tripoli because his eviction is being handled by the foreclosure people from Bank of America.



Football Fight
In response to the brawls and shootings at Candlestick this weekend, the NFL may now cancel the annual preseason game between the 49ers and the Raiders. This shouldn't be a problem since both the Niners and the Raiders stopped playing real football in the regular season about 10 years ago.



Singer Dead
Singer Nick Ashford of "Ashford and Simpson" has died. Doctors say his body is now solid as a rock.





August 23rd


1305: William Wallace, Scottish patriot, is hung, drawn and quartered for high treason, and inspiring Mel Gibson.

1979: Soviet dancer Alexander Godunov defects to the United States… actually, he defected to the powder room at Studio 54.

1990: West Germany and East Germany announce that they will unite on October 3… mostly since East Germany was already pregnant.