Saturday, August 13, 2011

Buffett's Plea
Warren Buffett is again calling for tax hikes on the rich. He does this every time it gets too crowded at his favorite yacht club.

Obama Bus Tour
President Obama begins a bus tour of the Midwest today. Luckily the bus windows have been fitted with special tomato-proof polymers.

Approval Rating
The latest Gallup poll shows that an all-time low of 39% of the voters approve of President Obama. In a related story, the White House now claims that 61% of Americans are racists.

Postal Firings
The Post Office is considering laying off 120,000 workers. But it probably has 6-8 weeks to change its mind since it sent those layoff notices out in the regular mail.

Birth Recession
A new study shows that reduced birth rates across the country are the result of tougher economic times... well, that and the fact that Arnold Schwarzenegger is now using condoms.

August 15th

1040: King Duncan I is killed in battle against his first cousin and rival Macbeth. The latter succeeds him as King of Scotland, but he is later defeated by a bunch of tenth graders with Cliff's Notes.

1954: Alfredo Stroessner begins his dictatorship in Paraguay... hoping to do well enough to get a promotion to dictator of Uruguay.

1965: The Beatles play to nearly 60,000 fans at Shea Stadium in New York City... about five people actually heard them.


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