Friday, August 05, 2011

Downgrade Announcement
S&P downgraded U.S. debt to "Double-A Plus" this weekend. Just for perspective, S&P's rating for Mets season tickets is "Triple-Z Minus."

Blame the Tea Party?
White House advisor David Axelrod is blaming the S&P downgrade on the "unyielding" Tea Party. It's all part of the administration's new "you might as well lie back and enjoy it while we rape the economy" spending policy.

Geithner Stays
Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner says he will stay at his post at least until the fall of 2012. By then, he might be able to find some sucker willing to give him another job.

Gas Down
Gas prices fell four cents a gallon this weekend. It's great news for an Obama White House that desperately needs more gasoline to help burn more cash every day.

Gold Up
Gold prices have soared past $1,700 per ounce. The value of the average gold band is so high now that even J. Lo is considering staying married!

August 8th

1709: Bartolomeu de Gusmão demonstrates the lifting power of hot air, but only after eating 15 tostados.

1973: Vice President Spiro Agnew appears on television to denounce accusations he had taken kickbacks… and to ask that he be paid in cash from now on.

1976: As part of the ABA-NBA merger agreement, a dispersal draft is conducted to assign teams for the players on the two ABA franchises which had folded. However, no one is able to take custody of Dr. J’s afro.


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