Greece Begging
Greece is so broke that it is now asking Greek immigrants in America for money... which explains why Gyro sandwiches now cost $537.



Wisconsin Vote
The Wisconsin state senate went ahead and passed Governor Scott Walker's collective bargaining bill while the Democrats were still hiding out at an out-of-state Best Western. It's not clear if the Democrats didn't know the vote was happening or if they just got hooked on the motel's free HBO.



High School Team Advances
A Michigan high school basketball team has won a second state tournament game since one of its star players collapsed on the court and died... which is why Miami Heat fans are seriously killing LeBron James.



Goodbye Dalai
The Dalai Lama says he is seeking to relinquish his political role as a world activist. He's realized he can reach more people by piggy-backing on Charlie Sheen's Twitter account.


Failing Schools
According to estimates by government officials, more than 80,000 of the nation’s 100,000 public schools could be labeled as failing under the No Child Left Behind law. The good news is most of those government officials are products of public schools, so it’s not clear if any of them actually learned percentages.




March 10th


298: Roman Emperor Maximian concludes his campaign in North Africa against the Berbers, when he realizes the people he really wanted to punish for his bad haircut was the barbers.


1876: Alexander Graham Bell makes the first successful telephone call by saying: “OMG, this is so much easier than texting!”


1977: Astronomers discover rings around Uranus. For high school astronomy class clowns, this has been the gift that keeps on giving.