Return to Wisconsin?
The 14 Wisconsin Democrat state senators hiding out in an Illinois hotel are now expected to return to Madison sometime this week. It's not clear if they've made a political compromise or just run out of those little Jack Daniels bottles in the minibar.



Sheen and Penn
Charlie Sheen says he will soon head to Haiti with Sean Penn. But seriously, haven't those Haitian people suffered enough?



Gas Price Spike
The average price of gas nationwide is now more than $3.50 per gallon. Democrats are now trying to blame it all on the huge amount of energy it takes to power Dick Cheney's artificial heart.



Pot Bans Stay
Most U.S. universities have decided to keep their bans on marijuana. It's either that or abolish all 8am classes.



White House Outreach
As hearings approach on the threat of homegrown Islamic terrorism, the White House is trying to reassure Muslims. In fact, President Obama is personally promising to ignore the next 15 acts of Muslim terrorism just as much as he has the last 15.




March 7th


1277: Stephen Tempier, bishop of Paris, condemns 219 philosophical and theological theses… making him the hero of every theology student in every divinity school forever after.

1950: The Soviet Union issues a statement denying that Klaus Fuchs served as a Soviet spy… but reminding him that he left his jacket in the Kremlin and should pick it up next week.

1985: The song "We Are the World" has its international release, beginning the process of anti-American hatred that would eventually end in the 9/11 attacks.