Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Death Penalty Ban
Illinois Governor Pat Quinn will sign a ban on the death penalty today. Quinn opposes lethal injections, but still favors taxing people to death.

Choosing "White"
Census data shows that more Latinos are choosing to call themselves "white." It's not clear if they're assimilating or if they're just still ashamed of Charo.

Pay Hearings
A House committee will hold hearings today on whether federal employees get better pay and benefits than private sector workers. But the hearings are expected to take several months because they have to accommodate all the government worker witnesses who will be using their six weeks paid vacation and taking their three hour lunch breaks every day.

Reid on NEA Funding
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid says the government must not take away its funding for the cowboy poetry festival in Nevada. Because there's nothing sadder than a rancher whose iambic pentameter is on the fritz.

Barber Returns
Former New York Giant Tiki Barber is ending his four-year retirement. Barber says he needs the money and he figures returning to the NFL is safer than taking a role in that Spider-Man musical on Broadway.

March 9th

141 BC: Emperor Wu of Han assumes the throne of the Han Dynasty. And thanks to him, it’s still the best place for dim sum more than 2,000 years later!

1862: The USS Monitor and CSS Virginia fight to a draw in the Battle of Hampton Roads. But the Monitor wins on penalty kicks.

1916: Pancho Villa leads nearly 500 Mexican raiders in an attack against Columbus, New Mexico. He loses 250 men; 50 were killed and the other 200 took jobs as dishwashers at the Howard Johnson’s.


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